December 14, 2020 DAY NINE MONDAY
I buy myself flowers.
Over 30 years ago a psychologist told me to buy myself flowers. Don't wait for anyone else to, because you'll be waiting a long time. If flowers bring you joy, buy flowers.
This is my expectation for myself, not anyone else.
A symbol ..... I'm always taking care of my happiness. I don't expect anyone to take care of my feelings. I don't expect anyone to make me happy, sad, mad, angry. I am in charge. I own them all.
No one can make me or anyone else feel a certain way. It's up to us.
"you make me so mental" - no, in fact, you are in control of feeling certain ways. Your reaction to someone or something is YOUR problem.
"you make me so happy" - no, you choose it! YOU make yourself happy!
I have made sure, in my life, that I am happy all the time. I choose it on purpose, every day.
No one is SO powerful in my life to MAKE me feel something or to stop the way I want to feel. I get mad at something, that is my choice, however, being mad doesn't get me anywhere. I can talk myself out of negative feelings quickly.
I can't remember the last time I was angry.
Today is my step-mothers birthday. She takes good care of my dad. I'm thankful for her. I wish I was taking care of him. It's terrible being far away.
It's also my boobie birthday! 14 years! I am getting them taken out next summer.